VAIN - Part Three (The VAIN Series Book 3) by Deborah Bladon

Author:Deborah Bladon [Bladon, Deborah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Deborah Bladon
Published: 2014-08-25T04:00:00+00:00

"I haven't seen him." I pull my gaze back down to the sheets. "I haven't spoken to him in months."

"He said you called him about what happened that day in my apartment."

I nod my head. "I did. I wanted to find out why he showed you the pictures, Noah."

He fidgets from one foot to the other. "I hate that you loved him."

I smile at the confession. I pull my gaze up to meet his. "I hate that I loved him too," I say the words clearly and slowly so there's no room for misinterpretation between them.

"I think about it sometimes." His voice cracks slightly. "I think about you being in his arms. How he must have felt when he was inside you."

I exhale sharply. "I don't even remember it." I'm not lying. Intimacy with Beck was lovely at the time. I know I enjoyed it. I know that it filled an empty need within me that was swallowing me whole back then. I was so lost in Paris. I felt so alone and Brighton was there. He felt like home. I needed that.

"You don't?" It's a misplaced question on his lips. Noah has never outwardly shown any real jealousy. He may have gotten irritated with Brighton when he realized we were once lovers, but he's always been confident in our connection. I've felt that right from the start.

"When I was in Paris," I begin before I pat the bed willing him to sit down next to me. He does. "When I was in Paris, I felt very lost."

"You went there alone, didn't you?" He pulls the sheet over to reveal my leg. "Were you running away from something here?"

"Someone you mean?" I know Noah well enough to realize that he's asking me if I left home because of a man.

He nods slowly as his finger traces a path along my calf. "Were you involved with someone before Paris?"

"No." I shake my head from side-to-side. "I didn't date anyone for long." I steel my breathing. I want to tell him about the girl I used to be. I want him to understand who I was then and who I am now. "I was mostly interested in men for sex."

He cocks a brow as the corner of his mouth twitches. "You fucked around?"

"I did." Why try and hide the fact that I used to be that girl? I was the one who would hook up with a man just because I needed to feel that rush of pleasure. "I was safe and sane about it." I close my eyes to ward off the many faces of the men I've randomly fucked over the years. "I didn't want anything serious."

"Do you think you ran to Paris to escape that?" It's a serious question that requires an honest answer.

"Sadie fell in love with her husband around that time." I cringe inwardly thinking about how I felt knowing my best friend had fallen into the lap of the man of her dreams, while I was jumping from bed-to-bed searching for anything that could satiate my needs that day.

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